Next Chapter Counseling of Northern Virginia

I specialize in PTSD and moral injury.

Moral injury is the pain of realizing you aren’t doing what’s right, and you don’t see any other options. It's seeing other options, while working in a system where you can't help. It's taking the least-bad option. It’s also the betrayal when you realize that your leadership doesn’t care.

I work with:

Veterans
First Responders
Foreign Service Officers, USAID, and federal government workers affected by DOGE
Contractors wondering if they are entitled to feel PTSD and/or moral injury
Health care workers, including other therapists

You used to feel good about your work.

People used to thank you for your service. You nodded politely, shoving down the desire to punch something. Now you feel numb and hope no one asks what you did.

You’d like to lock your memories in a box and throw away the key. That strategy got you through the bad days. Like when your MRAP struck the IED. That was a bad day. Wrapping the torniquet around your buddy’s leg. Waiting beside the desert highway for EOD while the medevac rushed back to base. You joked about how he’d scarf down the only decent MRE before the rest of you got back.

And now? You are holding it together at work. You can make solid decisions, and people look up to you. But you’re a mess at home. You shout at all the terrible drivers on the roads. And at your family.

You might be drinking too much.

Hard work isn’t the problem.

They taught you to “embrace the suck” at bootcamp, and it was easy enough. You were working hard, even as a kid. Back then, you wanted to help others, and you wanted to make a difference. You wanted to be part of something bigger than yourself. Part of you still does. If it were up to you, you’d tear the bureaucracy to shreds and get shit done. You’d do things right, no matter the cost.

Because you care.

You care about your team, the mission, and the world. When you see a problem, you don’t want to look away. You want to solve it. You're the one people call when they need help moving or a place to stay.

There’s no point in complaining.

You learned early that no one wants to hear about your problems. Even if they did, you wouldn’t want to burden them. Your job is to take care of everyone else. To serve and protect.

"You could take a vacation," they say.

How can you? Your to-do list is endless. "You can rest when you're dead, right?" If you need a break, then there must be something wrong with you. Your colleagues are all fine. So are your neighbors. It feels like you're the one who is weak.

Fuck that.

We are living within deeply uncaring institutions.

Leaders are supposed to care about their people. The military is supposed to be a band of brothers and sisters—a family—with no one left behind. Federal service was supposed to be a life-time career, dedicated to helping the country. You agreed to serve, with the expectation that you'd be doing something good, and that your leadership would support you. Instead, they used you and spat you out.

You're frustrated because you see the problems and it feels like you should be able to solve them. You're angry, because it feels like the system isn't living up to its side of the bargain.

Let me name this anger more precisely. It’s betrayal. You had a solid moral compass, and now it's been shattered.

Honor, courage, and commitment are more than words. They are virtues. Standing up for what’s right. Protecting others. Striving for excellence. Refusing to quit. These virtues shouldn't be twisted and distorted. They should be valued. This is the heart of moral injury.

We're working inside systems that don’t uphold our ideals.

Institutional cultures within the military, police, and the federal government are still rife with oppression and old-fashioned, "good-old boys" thinking. Hierarchies, racism, and sexism contribute to toxic workplaces in which people aren't held accountable for their behavior. Our capitalist culture exploits people's willingness to work hard, with no regard for people's health or family life. It makes us feel guilty for wanting to take a vacation.

It may not feel right to blame the system for your problems. Our culture values personal responsibility and rugged individualism. That's why we feel guilty about the things we've done and the things we've failed to do is fine.

We should reflect on our personal mistakes. But we should also remember that we make our decisions in the context of a deeply flawed society and institutions that are not living up to their ideals.

America is supposed to be good. It’s supposed to be a beacon of light, spreading democracy and freedom around the world. It’s the land of opportunity, with liberty and justice for all.

Did your eyes used to tear up when you heard the national anthem?

The hypocrisy is obvious, and you see it every day. You always knew the world wasn't perfect. But now it's harder to look away and keep working.

Now is not the time to give up.